By Barbara Sher
Uncover and pursue hidden desires
Subject
Themes
Everyone has buried desires, hidden away in childhood for protection against criticism, impossible expectations, and the sorrow of watching loved ones struggle. These desires survived intact, waiting to be uncovered. The problem is never a lack of talent or ambition; it is always an inner conflict that masks what someone truly wants. Replacing self-blame with honest curiosity is the first step toward finding direction.
Everyone has buried desires, hidden away in childhood for protection against criticism, impossible expectations, and the sorrow of watching loved ones struggle. These desires survived intact, waiting to be uncovered. The problem is never a lack of talent or ambition; it is always an inner conflict…
Published in 1994, this work arrived during a period of significant economic and cultural upheaval in the United States. The early 1990s recession had shattered the post-war assumption that loyalty to a single employer would be rewarded with lifetime security. Corporate downsizing, euphemistically…
Human desire is not a luxury or an indulgence; it is a fundamental survival mechanism as essential as hunger or the need for warmth. From infancy, people are loaded with curiosity and brimming with wants. Nature likes us to desire things because desire drives us toward the activities, relationships,…
Families do not merely influence career choices; they architect the inner conflicts that prevent people from knowing what they want in the first place. Every person carries silent messages about what they are supposed to be doing with their lives, messages implanted so early and so subtly that they…
The conventional wisdom about finding direction in life follows a neat sequence: think carefully, discover what you want, then act. This sequence is backwards. Action comes first. Thinking follows. Self-esteem, luck, and clarity are all consequences of movement, not prerequisites for it. This…
Isolation is one of the most potent forces that keeps people stuck. When individuals carry their dreams alone, those dreams become fragile, easily shattered by a single discouraging remark or a moment of self-doubt. The antidote to this isolation is not willpower or determination; it is community.…
When everything familiar collapses, whether through job loss, divorce, bereavement, or the quieter erosion of a life that no longer fits, the instinct is to rebuild as quickly as possible. Yet rebuilding without first understanding what made the old life meaningful, or what it was missing, leads…
Inside everyone rests a silent message about what they are supposed to be doing with their lives. Jack, a journalist covering apartheid in South Africa, confesses he was supposed to have been a doctor. Benita, thriving on Wall Street, feels she was supposed to marry a successful person, not become…
Something hidden stops anyone who does not know what they want. Positive thinking will not defeat it. Pretending nothing is wrong will not work either. The surefire way to flush this resistance out of hiding is to start moving towards a goal, because resistance only shows itself when it feels…
Talented people repeatedly sabotage themselves just as they approach their goals. They get noticed for their abilities and receive genuine opportunities, yet something derails them at crucial moments: they lose focus, their mood drops, they make excuses to quit, or they redirect energy toward…
People trapped on a dazzling career fast track often know they are heading in the wrong direction but cannot bring themselves to stop. The material rewards, social admiration, and adrenaline of high-powered jobs create a confusing mix of excitement and dread. These individuals look successful to…
Ella, twenty-five, just landed a position at one of America's top law firms, yet she feels not too young to die but too young to be born. Anthony, fresh out of journalism school with thirty thousand dollars in student loans, considers going back for more education rather than face the working world.…
Rotten luck exists, and no amount of positive thinking can undo it. Bill, a gifted young pitcher, made it to the major leagues at twenty-one, only to have another player break his pitching elbow during his first week in Florida. The injury was inoperable. He never pitched a regular season game. Ten…
Ragers live beyond their means financially and emotionally, reserving themselves for a special fate while ignoring the ordinary tasks that make life work. They do not simply want to be painters or businesspeople; they want to be the greatest, the most powerful, the most recognised. Their dreams are…
By Barbara Sher
Subject
Themes
Everyone has buried desires, hidden away in childhood for protection against criticism, impossible expectations, and the sorrow of watching loved ones struggle. These desires survived intact, waiting to be uncovered. The problem is never a lack of talent or ambition; it is always an inner conflict that masks what someone truly wants. Replacing self-blame with honest curiosity is the first step toward finding direction.