By Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy
A guide to ethical nonmonogamy
Subject
Themes
The word "slut" is reclaimed as a term of pride, redefined to describe a person of any gender who celebrates sexuality according to the proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good. The gendered double standard between "slut" and "stud" is challenged, and ethical sluts are framed as curious adventurers who value pleasure, connection, and honesty. Consent stands as the foundational principle: an active collaboration for the benefit and pleasure of all involved, where coercion or deception disqualify any interaction from being ethical.
The word "slut" is reclaimed as a term of pride, redefined to describe a person of any gender who celebrates sexuality according to the proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good. The gendered double standard between "slut" and "stud" is challenged, and ethical sluts are framed as curious…
Published in 1997, with a substantially revised second edition in 2009, this work arrived at a moment when the polyamory movement was transitioning from countercultural fringe to a more visible social phenomenon. The word "polyamory" itself had only been coined around 1990 by Morning Glory…
One of the most transformative ideas is the rejection of what is called the "starvation economy" of love. Most people grow up absorbing the unspoken belief that love, sex, intimacy, and commitment are finite resources. If you give love to one person, there must be less available for another. If your…
Three intertwined principles form the ethical foundation of nonmonogamous living: consent as active collaboration, honesty as a practice rather than a passive state, and emotional ownership as the key to personal empowerment. Together, these principles distinguish ethical sluthood from the…
Jealousy receives the most extensive treatment of any single topic, reflecting its central importance as the emotion most people consider the insurmountable barrier to nonmonogamy. The approach taken is neither to minimise jealousy nor to surrender to it, but to transform it from a tyrant that…
Binary thinking pervades Western culture: black and white, male and female, right and wrong, monogamous and unfaithful. These pairings are treated as opposites locked in permanent opposition, where one must be defended and the other destroyed. This either/or framework profoundly limits the…
The proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you sounds simple, even obvious. Yet in a culture that has spent centuries teaching sexual shame, treating pleasure as an end in itself rather than a means to reproduction, bonding, or health is genuinely radical. This idea does not merely…
The word "slut" is reclaimed as a term of pride and endearment, redefined to describe any person who celebrates sexuality according to one radical proposition: sex is nice, and pleasure is good for you. The gendered double standard, where "slut" degrades women while "stud" elevates men, is…
Sex-negative forces pose real dangers to sexually open people. Anti-sex crusaders seek to outlaw birth control and abortion, restrict sex education in schools, and resist cervical cancer vaccines on the grounds that they might encourage sexual activity. Religious figures preach that AIDS is divine…
Ethical sluts actually need more boundaries than most people because they have more points of contact with diverse individuals. Boundaries must be clear, strong, flexible, and conscious. They define where one person ends and another begins. Each person owns their own emotions and is responsible for…
Children adapt readily to polyamorous extended families, having grown up in villages and tribes for most of human history. Janet recalls how her children, surrounded by loving adults during extended family vacations, were happier and less fragmented than she had ever seen them. When Dossie shared a…
The word "agreements" is preferred over "rules" because it implies flexibility and mutual consent rather than rigidity and punishment. Laurie and Chris illustrate how agreements evolve: they began with a handfast allowing sexual openness only during Renaissance Faire, then gradually extended to…
Intentional singlehood is validated as a lifestyle choice rather than a temporary condition between partners. The relationship with oneself is a lifelong commitment. Dossie, in 1969, chose to live single for five years to discover who she might be when not trying to be somebody's wife. She invented…
By Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy
Subject
Themes
The word "slut" is reclaimed as a term of pride, redefined to describe a person of any gender who celebrates sexuality according to the proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good. The gendered double standard between "slut" and "stud" is challenged, and ethical sluts are framed as curious adventurers who value pleasure, connection, and honesty. Consent stands as the foundational principle: an active collaboration for the benefit and pleasure of all involved, where coercion or deception disqualify any interaction from being ethical.